Chocolate: the route to all evil
by minnermon
Summary: PG to be safe. Season 1&2 are bored out of their minds, until they get sucked into a new dimension where they find a route paved with choclate. However, they don't know the chocolate is evil! Shonen-Ai hints
1. Should you trust a Prank Caller?

Hey! It's me again! I hope you guys have been enjoying 'Messed up Matchmaker'. If you see anything I need to work on, please do not dilly- dally and review it to me! Thankx! ;D  
  
Okay! This is another fanfic that came out of my subcounciness. Which is really scary! You never know what's in there! So I just came up with it at the top of head and its has been lying around in my 'story idea notes' forever. FINALLY it's here.  
  
Warnings: Lots of insanity, (espeacially in later chapters), and maybe a few Yoai hints. You never know what pops in there. Very small though.  
  
Disclaimer: Does it look like I own Digimon? NO! That's right. We can continue.  
  
Last minute... postings: Doesn't look like any. Ummmm...- Ken: Stop delaying the inevitable and just write the damn fic. Me: O_O ... OH MY GAWD! I GOT A MUSE! YAAAYYYYY!!!! ^_^ Don't worry! I'll start writing ! I promise!  
  
~Chocolate: the route to all evil.~  
~chapter one ~  
  
Silence. The only thing heard in the room, occupied by the DDs.  
  
Ken was playing with his hair; twisting it around in his fingers.  
  
Daisuke was staring. Nobody knew if he was staring at Ken, nor did they care. But Daisuke wasn't sure either.  
  
Hikari was opening and closing her camera, repeatedly.  
  
Takeru was spinning his hat around his index finger.  
  
Miyako sat in a chair; cleaning her glasses every 2 minutes and 26 seconds.  
  
Iori sat in the same chair as Miyako; staring at the opposite wall, trying to remember why he was there at the "Digidestined meeting", when he really wanted to be at the kendo practice he was missing.  
  
Koushiro was clicking the same 'OK' button of those Microsoft error windows that always come back, no matter how many times you click it.  
  
Jyou was saying all the fatal diseases he could think of in aphebetical order under his breath.  
  
Mimi was tapping her finger on the Yagami's desk. But everybody was too distracted by their own boredem to notice.  
  
Sora was blinking every 3 seconds and counting.  
  
Yamato had his head down in his arms, a very annoying song verse repeating in his head.  
  
Taichi was very irritated. He couldn't take the silence any longer.  
  
*SLAM * Taichi brought his hand down very hard on the desk. Making everyone jump. "I HAVE TO GO TO THE BATHROOM!" (A.N.: inside joke with me and my friends.hee-hee) He yelled, and exited the room.  
  
Everyone just blinked, and returned to the original state of nothingness.  
  
"Awwww. I lost count!" whined Sora and started over. Everyone justed ignored her, or did nothing. (AN: if you do nothing, than your not ignoring, ne?)  
  
Pretty soon the door slamed open, and a disgruntled Taichi stood in the doorway.  
  
"Will you people please do something! The silence is driving me insane!"  
  
"I have been doing something!" protested Miyako.  
  
"Me too!" everybody agreed.  
  
"What was that?!? Besides playing with hair, staring at something, opening and closing a camera, spinning a hat, cleaning glasses, thinking, clicking a mouse, stateing diseases in aphebetical order, tapping, blinking, AND, drowning in a bad mood." Yelled Taichi.  
  
Yamato was just about to protest that he had not, in fact, been drowning in a bad mood, but was cut off by Iori.  
  
"Well we were doing something."  
  
Yamato decided to abandon his protest, and instead said, "Besides, weren't you going to the bathroom?"  
  
"No, I was just trying to get you guys to do something, anything." Said Taichi rolling his eyes, looking as desparate as he was.  
  
"By going to the Ba-?" Miyako started, but was cut off by the telephone ringing.  
  
Everybody stared at the interfering electronic. Then Ken, the closest, picked it up.  
  
"Moshi moshi, Yagami residence."  
  
The 11 other DDs listened intensly to the one-sided conversation.  
  
"Oh?... I see... Ok, thank you for the message and/or warning." Then softly put the phone back on the hook. He turned to face the rest of the DDs.  
  
"If there's such thing as being too kind, I think you've got the disease, Ken." Said Daisuke, not taking his eyes off of him. Not even blinking, actually. Getting distracted only for the second to look at a very strange object, and with instinct, and impluse popped in into his mouth.  
  
"Stating the obivious question, Who was that?" asked Iori.  
  
"I assume it was a prank caller, 'cause she-"Ken was interupted by Taichi.  
  
"She? Definitely a prank caller." He received glares from all four girls in the room.  
  
"That's because you don't get any girls calling you unless it is a prank." Said Hikari smugly.  
  
"shut-up." Muttered Taichi.  
  
Yamato had a hard time keeping his laughter in, ... so he let it out. He continued laughing hysterically for a few minutes. Not knowing Taichi was sending him death glares.  
  
"ANYWAY! Please continue Ken." Said Jyou. The laughing was giving him a headache.  
  
"Uh, yeah, um, she said something like, there's a possessed computer outside the apartment door. That was all." Ken finished lamely. Silence soon followed.  
  
"Hey! It's something to do." Said Takeru rather unenthuiaticlly, and walked out the bedroom door.  
  
Soon everyone followed, like sheep on the move.  
  
Ken: Ummm.... Me: What do you think? Ken: Ummm.... Me: *_*u Uhhh, yeah, I promise it will make more sense later. Okay? Ken: Why do I see some Daiken hints? Me: ^_^u *Whistles innocently * Takeru: Because minnermon is a big fan of that pairing. Minnermon: O_o.....ANOTHER MUSE! YEAH! THE STARTING OF MY OWN COLLECTION! WOOHOO!... Ahem, sorry, Reveiws? Please? No flames. –Ja ne 


	2. insert evil chocolate here

Ken: I can't believe you're continuing.  
  
Minnermon: Hey people (at least some) wanted me too. And it's just too fun to put down!  
  
Takeru: You do know you will have to apologize to Sora for this chapter.  
  
Minnermon: Awwwww! Do I have to?  
  
Ken: Yes  
  
Minnermon:TT  
  
Takeru: On a happier note! Minnermon does not own Digimon, and in the last chapter she does not own Microsoft.  
  
Minnermon: What do you mean by 'On a happier note'? That's sad too!  
  
Takeru: No it's not.  
  
Ken: Let's just get this story started. And don't you two start singing that song!  
  
Chocolate: the route to all evil.  
chapter two  
  
"Okay, there is a computer, but who said it was possessed?" asked Jyou who was like all the other 11 DDs looking puzzled at the computer that was sitting right in front of the Yagami's apartment door.  
  
"Supposedly, it was the 'Prank Caller'. But it looks like she might be telling the truth." Said Ken, staring suspiously at the computer.  
  
"But it's a prank caller! So it can't be possessed! Koushiro, check it out!" Ordered Taichi.  
  
Koushiro just rolled his eyes, muttering sarcasticly, "yes master."  
  
"Wait! I think I know something about computers. I read about them!" said Sora. Everyone looked at her wondering since when she learned to read.  
  
"Hey! That's my old computer! What's it doing here?" Yelled Ken.  
  
"It's possessed of course!" replied Miyako in an everyone-knows-that- you-baka tone.  
  
"Okay, then you check it out!" ordered Taichi.  
  
"Hey Tai. Why don't you just check it out, if you're so curious?"  
  
"Do I look stupid to you Matt?"  
  
Yamato smirked. "Well you've definitely ruled out the possibility of smart."  
  
"You can just shut-up, Yamato!"  
  
"I think you're repeating yourself Taichi."  
  
"Yeah? Well, maybe I should keep saying it, 'cause you're STILL TALKING!" And the green flag was waved for yet another fight between Yamato Ishida, and Taichi Yagami.  
  
Meanwhile...  
  
Ken was getting rather bored with the yelling fest that was going on.  
  
He turned his head to look at the computer to see Sora in the process of reaching out to push a fairly big red button that practically screamed 'Do Not Touch'  
  
"Sora! What are you doing!" Ken asked panicing. Making Koushiro and a few others who were bored turn around too.  
  
"Sora! NOO-"Koushiro practically yelled, but too late. She already pushed the button.  
  
Everyone was sucked into the computer at the same time.  
  
They came out in a new dimension sorta like the Digiworld, only without the trees and plants, and other creatures. Actually, to put it simply, the only similarity was, it was another dimension.  
  
12 figures, moaning and groaning, sat up on a brown looking road. It wasn't dirt they were on. No it was solid and smelled interestingly like something sweet.  
  
10 sarcastic voices rang out in the deserted world. "Great going Sora."  
  
Sora just smiled sheepily with a you-have-to-forgive-me-'cause-I'm- innocent face.  
  
'Wait a minute.' Thought Ken. '10 voices?'  
  
"Dai? Are you okay?" He asked Daisuke, who was cluching his stomach with a look of pure agony on his face; rolled up in a small ball whimpering. So, clearly, he was not okay.  
  
"Ken, use that abnormally large mind of yours and think! He is clearly not okay-"  
  
"Hey! I told you to shut-up!" Yelled Taichi. Yamato glared at him. Let the yelling fest continue...  
  
"We just came to a new dimension! Dontcha ya think we can just drop it after we've skipped dimensions?"  
  
"No! I'm sick of you talking!"  
  
"What? Don't you like the sound of my voice?"  
  
"Since I'm telling you to SHUT-UP, I'd think not!"  
  
And so the yelling fest continued. And also again everyone was getting bored from the yelling. Except Daisuke. He was sick.  
  
Speaking of Daisuke being sick...  
  
"Uh... Anything we can do for Dai?" Asked Ken  
  
"We could give him some chocolate." Suggested Mimi  
  
"Chocolate?"  
  
"What? Chocolate?"  
  
"There's chocolate?"  
  
"Where chocolate?"  
  
"This chocolate!" said Mimi enthusiastically. "We're standing on it of course."  
  
Everyone's (except Taichi and Yamato's of course) eyes went wide and looked down. 'So that was what that brown stuff was.'  
  
"But we can't give Daisuke that chocolate. We've been standing on it. It's very unsani-"But Jyou was rudely interuppted as Mimi stuffed a piece of chocolate in his mouth.  
  
Everyone started eating the chocolate, except for Taichi and Yamato who were still holding the yelling fest, and Daisuke was still in pain with a stomach ache that everybody was just ignoring at the moment, and Ken was trying to put memories together.  
  
'Chocolate road,... My computer,... Another dimenstion,...'  
  
Ken's eyes went wide with realization. 'Uh, oh.'  
  
"STOP" yelled Ken at the top of his lungs.  
  
But it was too late...  
  
...tbc...  
  
Takeru: Bum bum buummm...  
  
Ken: ...  
  
Minnermon: Ken, you never say anything at the end of my chapters!  
  
Ken: ...  
  
Minnermon: See?!?  
  
Takeru: Minnermon, Ken's not here at the moment.  
  
Minnermon: Well where is he?  
  
Ken: I'm back!  
  
Minnermon: Where did you go?  
  
Ken: I went to go get these cue cards. It's a way of apologizing to Sora. All you have to do is read the cards.  
  
Minnermon: sigh Okay.  
  
Ken: Good! First card.  
  
Minnermon: monotone voice I am sorry to make fun of Sora in any way, snort ...  
  
Takeru: Just keep going.  
  
Minnermon: She is really a good character...  
  
Ken: Almost there.  
  
Minnermon: and she does deserve Yama- WHAT? LIKE HELL SHE DESERVES YAMATO! WHAT IS THIS STUFF? ARE YOU TRYING TO BRAINWASH ME?  
  
Takeru: Ken, I think you may have gone a little over the limit.  
  
Ken: uh, oh  
  
Minnermon: I WILL NEVER YIELD TO THIS STUFF! I CAN'T BELIEVE YOU! WHAT WERE YOU THINKING!  
  
Takeru: RUN!!!  
  
Ken: Oh yeah! Please review!  
  
- You know it! 'Lets get this party started' by P!nk 


	3. Getting to work eventually

Takeru: Hey! Here we are again!  
  
Ken: Yeah. Been awhile. Thanks for the reviews people!... Hey, where's Minnermon?  
  
Takeru: Oh, she's sulking in the corner over there. Muttering something about how this chapter is awful, and damned writers block, and too many fanfic Ideas are in her head. Stuff like that.  
  
Ken: I see.  
  
Takeru: Minnermon does not own Digimon, and would also like to thank Anony for getting Minnermon off her lazy ass and writing this chapter.  
  
Ken: Takeru, I think you've been hanging around Reyna-chan too much. You're cussing a lot.  
  
Takeru: Yeah, oh well! Lets start this fic!  
  
Ken: A long time ago, in a galaxy far far away...  
  
Chocolate: the route to all evil  
chapter three  
  
"What is it Ken?" Asked Yamato and he quickly slapped a hand over Taichi's mouth, before the former could yell again in his ear.  
  
"I've been here before! When I became the Digimon Kaiser! I ate some chocolate and became evil! Mixed with the dark spore I couldn't be saved by just the antidotes, but I had a horrible obsession of spandex." Ken shuddered. "I'm never going to wear tight clothes again."  
  
Taichi, Yamato, and Daisuke (who was starting to turn a light shade of green) were staring at Ken. Finally...  
  
"What the hell are you talking about?" Asked Taichi so bluntly, that Yamato smacked him on the back of the head.  
  
Ken rolled his eyes. "This is the 'Chocolate route to evil'." Still everyone had a blank stare.  
  
"Oooohhhhh. So what you're saying is that this chocolate that we're standing on is evil? And if we eat it we become evil too?" Yamato pulled through, much to Ken's relief.  
  
"We're standing on chocolate?" asked Taichi. Even Daisuke rolled his eyes. He couldn't quite open his mouth to say something, 'cause then what had for lunch would come back to haunt him. Literally.  
  
"Of course you Baka! Weren't you listening?" Yamato didn't give Taichi time to argue. "Aw, Shove it." Taichi closed his once open mouth and glared.  
  
"Hey, Where is Everyone?" Yamato asked, getting worried.  
  
"uh, oh." Ken , Yamato, and Taichi muttered, while Daisuke muttered, "I need to find a restroom!"  
  
"Come on! We need to find everyone and turn them good again! We do know how to get out of here, right Ken?" silence. "Right Ken?!?"  
  
"I'm thinking." Said Ken quietly.  
  
"Well think faster!! I need to go to a bathroom!!!" Yelled Daisuke.  
  
"Uh, right. Well... wait... I think I remember eating the chocolate then getting transported back... They're back in the Real World!" Ken Shouted.  
  
"HOW?" Everyone asked.  
  
"Because once you eat the chocolate you get transported back to your original dimension, I'm pretty sure."  
  
"Damn!"  
  
"Ditto." Ken replied. "But I think there's another way out. And that way is..."  
  
[a/n: Readers are asked to use their great imaginations to find some way of getting Yamato, Taichi, Ken, and Daisuke out of this dimension and back to the human world. Please forgive me. I just couldn't figure out how they were going to get out! Pathetic, I know. Thank you Reyna-chan, dynasmon, and anonymously labeled (anony) for trying to help. Unfortunately nothing could spark my imagination. I-... I'm babbling again, aren't I?  
  
Ken:Yes, you are.  
  
Minnermon: sorry.  
  
Takeru: And we continue...]  
  
"OUT OF MY WAY!" Yelled Daisuke as he literally flew down the Hall and into the bathroom. They were all back at the Yagami apartment to think up a plan.  
  
When Daisuke finally came out of the bathroom (He looked considerably more like his old self again. And much more relaxed.) Everybody sat down to come up with a plan.  
  
"What do we know?" Asked Daisuke.  
  
"Almost absolutely nothing." Said Yamato, falling into one of his depressing moods that he was famous for. "All we know is that everyone else is supposed to be evil, but we have not seen them since before they ate the evil chocolate. We don't know where they are, how to turn them good again-" At this point, Ken muttered "I know the antidotes." But everyone was listening to Yamato spewing out pessimistic prophecies, that no one heard. "- or where to start!" Yamato suddenly broke down with his head in his hands. "I'm so confused."  
  
Taichi put his arm around Yamato and pulled him closer, so that Yamato's head was on Taichi's shoulder. "Hey don't get yourself down, we'll find Takeru before he does anything too supid. Don't worry." Taichi said in a soothing voice.  
  
"Wow." Said Ken. "I've never heard Taichi talk like that."  
  
"Only with Yama." Said Daisuke with a secret little smile on his face. And some people said he was oblivious.  
  
"With the way they fight, they still support eachother. That's so sweet!" Squealed Ken. Daisuke just gave Ken an odd look.  
  
"When do we fight?"Asked Taichi.  
  
Daisuke and Ken ignored him. "We need to get started! We need to find where everyone is!" Silence followed.  
  
"Ummm... I have an idea." Now that Ken had everyone's attention, including Yamato's, but his head was still on Taichi's shoulder, Ken continued. "Well, maybe, ummm... never mind."  
  
"Let's just go for a walk. Who knows, we might bump into them." Mumbled Yamato. Finally lifting his head from Taichi's shoulder. Taichi looked a little more sad now.  
  
They all decided that it was a fairly good idea.  
  
As they were walking in the park, no one was talking, they eventually wandered all the way to the industrial area of Odaiba.  
  
"That's something you don't see everyday!" Everyone turned to look at what Daisuke was pointing at.  
  
They saw both the Helmet and Hat Factories on fire, and the two figures of Sora and Takeru amist the flames shouting words, even God didn't know, at eachother.  
  
tbc  
  
Takeru: Ken, you make me sick. 'That's so sweet!' What is wrong with you? You sound like a girl!  
  
Ken: Don't look at me! Blame Minnermon, she wrote it!  
  
Takeru: I'm tempted to think it's natural. I read one fanfic and you were a girl.  
  
Ken: I read the same one. You were a Hentai.  
  
Takeru: So? You were a slut that slept with every digidestined guy-  
  
Minnermon: Okay, break it up.  
  
Takeru: -You slept with me almost last-  
  
Minnermon: Takeru-  
  
Takeru: -And it was only to get to Daisuke!!!!  
  
Minnermon: Too much information, Takeru! Too much information!  
  
Ken: Ooooo! Are you jealous?!?  
  
Takeru: What if I am?!?  
  
Minnermon: Stop you two! You're going to make me have to raise the rating! Please review! 


End file.
